Understanding and Managing Separation Anxiety in Babies and Children
As children grow, they often experience moments of separation anxiety. These episodes can be emotionally challenging for both children and their parents. In this blog post, we will explore separation anxiety, its peak age, underlying causes, effective coping strategies for parents, and its impact on sleep in babies and children.
“Major life transitions such as starting daycare, moving to a new home, or the birth of a sibling can disrupt a child’s sense of security and intensify separation anxiety.”
Separation anxiety is a normal part of a child's development, typically emerging around the age of 8 to 10 months, 12 months, 18 months and 24 months. It is a manifestation of a child's increasing awareness of their surroundings and their growing attachment to their primary caregivers.Your child experiencing separation anxiety is actually a good thing!
You'll likely notice a big change in your childs behaviour during the day, as they will be more clingy and get upset when you leave the room.
Causes of separation anxiety:
Object permanence:
As babies begin to understand object permanence, they realise that people and objects continue to exist even when they can't see them. This newfound awareness can lead to anxiety when separated from their caregivers.This cognitive milestone typically emerges around 8 to 12 months of age.
Attachment bonding:
Babies develop a strong emotional bond with their primary caregivers. Separation from these familiar faces can trigger distress and anxiety. It's a sign a great attachment bond is forming!
Environmental changes:
Major life transitions such as starting daycare, moving to a new home, or the birth of a sibling can disrupt a child's sense of security and intensify separation anxiety.
Managing Separation Anxiety:
Establish a routine: Consistency and predictability can provide a sense of security for children. Creating a consistent daily routine can help reduce anxiety during separations.
Gradual separation: Gradually introduce short periods of separation to help children build trust and confidence. Start with brief separations and gradually increase the duration over time. This can look like a game of peek-a-boo and hide & seek for instance.
Reassurance and comfort: Offer words of reassurance and physical comfort to let your child know you will return. Leaving them with a familiar object, such as a favourite toy or blanket, can provide additional comfort.
Confident goodbyes: never sneak away from your little one when it's time for you to leave them. By saying goodbye in a confident and calm but quick way will help teach them goodbyes aren't scary, as you will be coming back later.
Fill their cup: Spend lots of 1:1 time with you little one to foster the connection between you. A time of connection before you part with your baby to go to work or before bedtime will make the separation a bit easier for them.
Foster independence: Encourage your child's independence by allowing them to explore their environment under your supervision. This helps them build resilience and self-assurance.
Separation Anxiety and Sleep:
Separation anxiety can have a significant impact on a child's sleep patterns. Here are some tips to help manage sleep disruptions caused by separation anxiety:
Consistent bedtime routine: Establish a relaxing routine before bedtime to signal that it's time to sleep. Include activities such as reading a book, dimming the lights, or singing lullabies.
Transitional objects: Introduce a special blanket or stuffed animal that your child associates with comfort and security (if age appropriate). These objects can help provide a sense of familiarity and ease anxiety when separated during sleep.
Nighttime connection: If your child wakes up during the night and exhibits signs of separation anxiety, such as crying or calling out for you, provide reassurance without immediately picking them up. Offer soothing words and gentle touch to help them settle and fall back to sleep.
Toddler reassurance: For toddlers and older children, bridging is a great way to help combat separation anxiety. Talk about what fun things you'll do in the morning and how you'll meet in each others dreams to bridge the time where you're apart. Have them keep a special family picture beside their bed to feel connected to you while you're not there with them.
Separation anxiety is a normal part of a child's development and can be managed effectively with patience, consistency, and understanding. By focussing on connection and practicing with short periods of separation you can support your little one through this phase.
